Why do People adopt? As of January 2nd we currently have 3 spots available! While adoption is generally viewed as a largely positive period of time in a person’s life, as with most things, there are some people who might be doing it for the wrong reasons. Saving children. Children enter the foster care system through no fault of their own, usually as a result of abuse, neglect and/or abandonment. There are many reasons why people choose to adopt a child. Angel Adoption, Inc. provides marketing and advertising services that assist biological parents considering adoption and prospective adoptive parents to connect with each other, and provides support and referral services throughout the process. Our editorial team sat down with AdoptTogether mom Tacy Riehm to discuss some of the misguided reasons that parents have adopted in the past. Only you and your spouse can decide whether adoption is right for you. Could you provide examples of Good reasons to adopt? Save a marriage. Remember, you can always call our adoption specialists at 1-800-ADOPTION to learn more about our agency’s adoption process. It got me thinking what are the wrong reasons to adopt? Convenience. I hear people saying right or wrong reasons to adopt in a lot of questions. Children have many ways to make friends and find companionship, like through school and other activities. Top 10 Reasons to Adopt a Kid. Adoption, much like anything else, can be and is done for completely the wrong reasons. Adopting a child is a great commitment and not one that should be made if you feel stuck on your own or in need of companionship. The desire to give a child a family is another positive reason. Some adoptive parents choose to adopt a child because they are infertile (medically unable to bear children). Not sure where to go or how to ask for help. Most of the children up for adoption have been taken away from their … Fertility problems, trouble in conceiving due to a late marriage are problems that might hinder begetting. What is the "wrong" reason(s) to adopt a child? Adoption is a difficult, lifelong journey for all involved — adoptive parents, birth parents and adoptees. As of January 2nd we currently have 3 spots available! All of us wish for a home where we can hear the wind chimes in the form of our kid’s voices. Chris and Jane are both officers in the Metropolitan police, and have four children, who were aged 25, 22, 12 and nine when the couple decided to adopt. Looking back on conversations with other adoptive parents and my own experiences with adoption and foster parenting, I feel that there are truly five solid reasons for wanting to adopt a child. You want to “save” a baby. However, it’s important that you are equally as excited for a new child to join your family, and not just making this commitment for your son or daughter’s sake. https://adoption-beyond.org/facebook-groups-adult-adoptees/, https://www.americanadoptions.com/adopt/why-people-adopt, 7 Ways to Incorporate Adoption into Your Holiday Traditions, ‘We Wouldn’t Change a Thing’: Jill’s Christmas Adoption Story. 1. Parents whose children are growing up and leaving home can be frightened by the upcoming changes, especially if they are a stay-at-home parent whose job was taking care of their child for the last 18 years. After all, you will need to be able to provide for the child's physical needs like food, clothing, school expenses, and medical care. Every family has different reasons for adoption, so it is impossible to say why people adopt. When we ask this question, then the very first or simple answer is infertility, Right? This terrible and often incurable disease doesn’t give lovely couples an opportunity to achieve a clinical pregnancy and fulfill a wish for parenthood. To move past your infertility, you may wish to rush straight into adoption, believing a child will solve whatever other problems you have in your relationship. It is a big risk to adopt a child because so many adoptions break down. And, while hopeful grandparents can be overwhelming, you should never be pushed into a family-building process (or even creating a family at all) unless you are sure that it is right for you. Most of the reasons are good ones, but some are really bad ones. Adoption is more than a passing craze; it’s a lifelong commitment to your adopted child and to their birth parents. Sometimes, people say they have been “called to adopt.” While this can be an okay motivation if combined with another reason, using this as your only motivation to adopt is dangerous. Some people adopt to claim a boost on their tax income. You see many people today (including celebrities) deciding to add to their family in this non-traditional way, breaking down the “normal” family stereotypes that exist. I was adopted at birth I was hours old when my mother handed me over to a stranger. Your email address will not be published. It falls into the same category of “saving” a child. It’s almost inconceivable to adopt for the money but, if this is you, don’t even think about it. Just as there are countless reasons people choose to have a baby, there are numerous reasons you might choose to adopt. All Rights Reserved. But, just as having a child naturally will not solve marriage difficulties, neither will adopting a child. Even so, there are a few important things to recognize when you’re choosing adoption — and one of these is whether you are choosing adoption for the “right” reasons. Complete our free adoption application. Posted on June 4, 2018 April 3, 2019 by Aurora. 1) You have lost a pregnancy or a child and think adopting will heal that wound Reproductive health problems According to the statistics, the main reason why many couples decide to adopt children is infertility. Our adoption specialists will always discuss your motivations to adopt with you before you commit to our adoption program. The vast majority of adoptions are successful and the experience of ordinary family life gives children the opportunity to … However, an adopted child will not fill the hole left by older, independent children, and any adoptee will eventually grow up and move out, as well — leaving a parent to confront their feelings all over again. That’s not to mention all of the expenses you will need to pay for at least the next 18 years to give your child the life they deserve. The following is a list of wrong motives to adopt: Because everybody is doing it (children should not be a fad) To have someone who will love you back (not every child may want to reciprocate your love and affection—initially anyway) Your biological clock is ticking (not good motivation for adoption) If you have grown in a loving and caring family, it is sure that that is the only thing you want for your baby to have. adoption adoptive parent parenting. There are many reasons why hopeful parents choose adoption as the path to grow their family. 7. Best Labor Day weekend deals for all things home Here are some of the reasons why adoptive families choose to adopt a child. Hi, Thomas — Have you connected with any other adoptees through support groups? If you adopt a child from the welfare system, the child will most likely be over the age of three. Then you ought to adopt - and not create - a child to love. However, deciding to adopt simply because it seems like “the thing to do” is a terrible motivation. If you are lonely, consider joining a new activity or getting a pet before you decide to bring a lifelong member into your family. Talk to your partner and explore what this process can bring to you both and make sure you aren’t motivated chiefly by any wrong reasons to adopt. You have a wonderful relationship and you want to raise a baby since you feel ready to become parents. Adoptive parents come from all different backgrounds and lifestyles, and no two families have encountered the exact same circumstances on their path to choosing adoption. Perhaps the child’s was orphaned, or his/her parents cannot care for them (the reasons for this could be one of many, such as addiction). Here’s a list to consider: https://adoption-beyond.org/facebook-groups-adult-adoptees/ You might also think about finding a therapist who is experienced in adoption-related trauma to work through these emotions. While there are plenty of great and beautiful reasons that people wish to adopt, there are also misguided and even harmful reasons, as well. But you should never adopt a child because someone pressures you to … Given the large number of orphaned children in the world, I can see no reason why people should create children. More than half of the children waiting in foster care for adoptive homes are 8 or older, 30 percent are 12 or older. 1. They likely share the feelings you do and can help you through them. Adoption is a process that takes full consideration of both parties in a relationship. Adoption is a difficult, lifelong journey for all involved — adoptive parents, birth parents and adoptees. Required fields are marked *, Call anytime, an adoption professional is here to help. We wish you the best of luck moving forward! For this reason many couples adopt a child. Due to infertility, some couples cannot have a biological child. Your email address will not be published. The points listed below are the common reasons for child adoption. Even the foster child can pressure—or even beg—the foster parents to adopt them. Children don’t need to be brought into a family that thinks saving is what they need. Increased focus on work is making people marry late and this, to a certain extent, affects the ability to conceive. Adoption is not always all puppies and unicorns; it is a challenging, lifelong journey that you should be 100 percent committed to — difficult aspects and all. But as I once heard a wise man say, the only thing worse than a family that should adopt but doesn't, is a family that shouldn't adopt but does. Desire to give a child a family ... You also need to be financially secure in order to be able to adopt a child comfortably. What are the right ones? Take the first step by filling out our free adoption application. Similarly, if you have an only child, adoption is not the go-to answer for loneliness for them, either. Adding another member to your family should not be the first solution for a child who appears lonely. Prospective parents can then determine if they have one of these reasons for adoption, and a prospective birth mother can use them to understand more about the kinds of people she can choose to adopt her child. Our 2020 Winter Wonderland Photo Contest Winners! You cannot have biological children for whatever reason and you turned to adoption because it’s just another wonderful way to create a family. 1. Article by Kriti Rathore, September 12, 2014. Some pre-adoptive families may feel pressure from friends or family members to adopt a foster child who has been placed in their home. Many couples think “Why not adopt a child? A child is not there to keep you company; you are the one there to care for them. If you think that by adopting a baby you are going to save him or her, that is indeed a wrong reason. It’s not a decision that should be made lightly and certainly not one to be made just because someone you know had a good experience with it. Newborn Adoption Information, Advice, News & More. Here are some of the common reasons to adopt a child today: 1. As adoptive parents, if you have an interest in helping a child heal from past grief and pain, whether this comes from abuse, neglect, being abandoned, or orphaned, then you have the right motivations for adopting a child. 5 Reasons Why Positive Adoption Language is Important. Although the most basic reason is a desire to build or expand a family, the specific reasons that motivate each adoption vary. This will help you determine whether adoption is really the right path for your family. Call anytime, an adoption professional is here to help. The Origins And Reasons For Transnational Adoption 1057 Words | 5 Pages. Some families need help being able to do so but some stories are darker than that or we just need to be able to accept that they cannot instead of forcing the situation. I never gave it much thought until now. Other people will choose to adopt to prove a point or to show how “caring” and “loving” they are, without actually having any interest in the children. The Child Adoption in India is a very personal or emotional decision of parents. If you go into adoption thinking that you will be “saving” a child from a disastrous situation, you need to learn more about the adoption process. If any of the wrong reasons to adopt below describe your sole purpose for pursuing adoption, it may not be the best option for you at this time. The orphanages were questionable; children were placed first locally, then nationally, and it was only then, when they were often several years old, that Americans could adopt them. It’s natural for your loved ones to offer advice when you’re facing infertility or similar struggles, but how and when you choose to move forward will be entirely up to you and your spouse. Angel Adoption, Inc. is an independent contractor and provides services under the supervision of Lutheran Child and Family Services of Illinois, License #012998, One Oakbrook Terrace, #501, Oakbrook Terrace, IL 60181; 708-771-7180. © American Adoptions Blog 2021. Often, one side chooses to adopt a baby considering it as a marriage-saving decision. Adoption is a beautiful thing because it allows everyone access to the opportunity to nurture a child. Adopting a baby is a major undertaking and it will change your life forever. 4 Things for Birthmothers to Consider, BM Info Request Confirmation page (Ultimate Guide), AP Info Request Confirmation page (Ultimate Guide). Adoption is more popular than ever — which is great! Hi, Josephine — Here are just a few of the reasons why people choose to adopt: https://www.americanadoptions.com/adopt/why-people-adopt Hope that answers your question! The best adoptive families want to help the child start a new life. The article was titled Wrong Reasons to Adopt a Child and listed out seven reasons. While adoption may not be your first choice to become a parent, it should not be something that you feel resigned to as your “last chance.” Adoption is a difficult journey and, if you choose this path because you feel like it’s something you “have” to do to have children, you won’t have the optimism and positivity to get through those difficult times. Not true. If you know that adoption offers a tax credit, you may think that adopting a child can provide you helpful financial reimbursement. As of January 2nd we currently have 3 spots available! They Love Children But Can’t Have Children. Here are 5 right reasons to consider adopting a child. Embarking on the adoption process is exciting, scary, intense and emotional. This will inevitably lead to greater issues down the road and will negate the positive intentions and spirit in which the adoption […] System through no fault of their own, due to a late marriage are that! Can pressure—or even beg—the foster parents to adopt a child hear people saying right or wrong reasons reasons... Enter the foster care system through no fault of their own, to! Or wrong reasons to adopt a child who appears lonely of three family has different for... Child a family, the main reason why people adopt over to a certain extent, the... 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